(Yes, we made it to dinner.) At the restaurant, our waitress invited us to the hotel guest–only Library Room for dessert, on the couch, because apparently, the way we smiled at each other made it seem like we were from out of town. The next weekend, he took red-eyes to and from New York to spend Saturday with me, from a.m. I made brunch, which meant I mashed some avocado and smeared it on toast. The good part of pruning is that you get to decide what you do and do not care about. My training set includes one six-year relationship where I was twice engaged (and planned a wedding, which I canceled two months before for no other reason than wanting big love—and nothing short of it), one three-year relationship where he started saving for a ring, and a bunch others in between. So here’s what my model says as it applies to James. There’s always more to gather, and it’s always changing. Don’t be afraid to explore, to dig deep, and certainly, don’t curate what you show others.
to p.m., before getting back home for Father’s Day with his two young kids, who live in L. We took a two-hour bubble bath to digest the food we didn’t eat, listening to the xx and wrapping therapy around each other à la Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in . But no matter which data set you’re examining, current or new, the process is the same: collect, analyze, adjust model, repeat.
I met a cluster of his friends when he invited me to visit his turf a couple weekends later. They laughed and made fun of each other with love and abandon. His daughter, 4, whispered secrets in my ear, like how she had seen an adult movie—. ”“Because I just love America, and all things related to American culture, and wanted to contribute to it.” Now he writes for a hit TV show. (I wanted to rip his clothes off.)“James, when did you start falling for me? When I saw the photo of you and Olaf.” I had joined Bumble on a whim, the first weekend I became single after spending years 19 and up as a serial monogamist. I managed to find a recent one of me at my previous company’s family day, sandwiched between sing-along Olaf and off-key Elsa.
James was the first person I met off the app and I, too, fell for him before we met, when he texted me, “What was your rock bottom?
I didn’t have enough data on James to make a confident decision. ”The first time we saw each other after the no-show, he showed up at my apartment 30 minutes early. He poured a glass of Bordeaux, sat in my bathroom, and watched me put on makeup. I felt like I really saw him: forty-seven years of stories and of sadness, anger, and fear of not having ever lived true to himself, and of playing hide-and-seek with his heart. Beyond this, you need a systematic way of pruning your data. You care if he taps it back at Soul Cycle with you? Personally, I put 100 percent weight on learning by experience. The day my mind caught up with what my gut already knew, I walked around in circles in Soho, talking to him on the phone, trying not to pass the same sidewalk vendors for the umpteenth time in tears, as I returned the bandwidth he gave me back to him. The funny thing about data, though, is that it’s never-ending.
with the long past--a reference to forgotten events and personages, and to manners, feelings, and opinions, almost or wholly obsolete --which, if adequately translated to the reader, would serve to illustrate how much of old material goes to make up the freshest novelty of human life.
with anything so beatific as the radiant image of my little girl, the vision of whose angelic beauty had probably more than anything else to do with the restlessness that, before morning, made me several times rise and wander about my room to take in the whole picture and prospect; to watch, from my open window, the faint summer dawn, to look at such portions of the rest of the house as I could catch, and to listen, while, in the fading dusk, the first birds began to twitter, for the possible recurrence of a sound or two, less natural and not without, but within, that I had fancied I heard.
Basically, whether you are looking for romance, love, friendship, information, emotional support or just to connect with people you share something in common with, you are in the right place!
* And a special note to our Extraterrestrial members.
Alt Scene is an alternative dating site aimed at making it easier for like minded single people to meet and get to know each other.